This pregnancy was an easy one from the beginning. I had very little nausea, and all in all I felt really good. Around the 8th month I did get more uncomfortable and ready for labor day to come, but I still enjoyed being pregnant overall.
We made a choice near the beginning of pregnancy to hire our friend Lindsey as our doula and choose midwives for my health care providers. While we had a great experience with our previous OBs, we really liked the midwifery model of care. We were hoping to be able to have a natural childbirth, and midwives often use fewer interventions. The closest group was Intown Midwifery in Atlanta, which meant an hour drive for us, but they came so highly recommended we decided it was worth it and we’re so glad we did. My prenatal care was incredible. The appointments were always relaxed and they spent so much time chatting and getting to know us as well as answering any questions.
Since we did not find out what we were having while pregnant with Lailey, I was set on not finding out again. Davey, however, really wanted to know, and after much deliberation we settled on a compromise: he would find out and keep it a secret from everyone including me. I figured even if he spilled the news it was good news so I wouldn’t be mad. We made it to 39 wks and my feeling about the baby coming before my “guess date” (July 26th, 2011) started to fade. One evening while on a date we headed to Babies ‘R’ Us to pick out a going home outfit. We found a 3-piece girl outfit, but were split between two 3-piece boy outfits. I told him that if it was a boy to just buy both since we would need them. This later ended up being the flaw. While I took a trip to the restroom, he purchased only the outfit(s) that we would need. A few days later he put them in the laundry with some other baby stuff. When they were finished washing, I gave him a box so he could pack them in our hospital bag. Upon fishing them out of the dryer, he said he wasn’t sure if he had everything. I tried to stop him from saying anything else, but before I could, he commented that he had “two pairs of pants, and a couple shirts” and was that everything? I immediately knew. He tried to cover it up, but to no avail. I spent the whole morning crying out of joy (“It’s a BOY!”) and disappointment (“We were so close to the end!”). However, after that day I was just excited. We agreed to tell no one because we were so close to delivery day. Or so I thought.
Forty weeks went by, then 41 weeks. I had Braxton-Hick contractions (ctx) that became more frequent as the weeks went on, but no real labor signs. I was ready to have this baby, but I worked on keeping a good attitude about the whole thing. For the most part, I feel like I dealt with being “overdue” really well. Of course, it kept everyone else on pins and needles. At 41 weeks + 2 days (August 4th) we went for a non-stress test to check on the baby. I was nervous that my fluid would be low (reason for Pitocin induction with Lailey), but God answered our prayers and the baby looked perfect. He was measuring right around 8 lbs, and the fluid was not close to being low. The doctor even said he didn’t need to see us back; we could just wait to go into labor on our own. So, back to waiting. It was a relief to know baby was doing so well, but also difficult not knowing when things would finally get going. That afternoon I went to get an acupressure massage, which can sometimes send moms into labor. We ate spicy Thai food that evening, but it wasn’t very spicy to me.
The next day (August 5th, 2011) I had a little bloody show (usually a more reliable labor sign than ctx in second time moms), but still didn’t get my hopes up. That morning I finally had a good cry about still being pregnant. We kept praying that the Lord would allow me to go into labor on my own. For breakfast we ate spicy chicken biscuits from Chick-fil-a. Davey decided to take Lailey with him to run errands and I was determined to get tons of stuff done. I paid bills online, balanced our financial ledger, picked up the whole house, did two loads of laundry, put away all the coats from the coat rack into the recently organized closet (previous week’s project), vacuumed, and thought, “I really hope this is the last time I have to clean my house before the baby comes!” Davey came home with hot wings and nachos with jalapeños for lunch, and after eating ravenously after all my cleaning, I decided to take a nap. It was a good thing I did because it would be the last bit of sleep I would get in the next 36+ hours.
Later that evening, we worked hard to organize and label a bunch of stuff for my cousin Christy’s garage sale in the morning. I felt so bad to do this, but I let Lailey eat Raisin Bran for dinner and stuck her in the highchair to watch Toy Story 3! I can’t even believe I’m admitting that. She thoroughly enjoyed herself though, asking occasionally over her shoulder, “Can I have some more?” After Davey left with a carload of stuff, I got her ready for bed, read books, and kissed her goodnight. I felt really happy that despite still being pregnant, we had had a great day.
The rest of the evening I relaxed some, finished cleaning up from all the garage sale sorting, made Davey eggs and toast as a late dinner, and did the dishes. I mentioned to Davey that the only thing I hadn’t done that day was mop the kitchen floor – should’ve taken this as a sign. I had tried using my breast pump a couple times in the last few days so I did that for 30 minutes. At 10 days past my due date, I figured I might as well try anything. I had a few more BH ctx in a row, and during one I randomly decided to squat while holding the kitchen sink. I felt a pop and a warm gush – my water had broken!!! I got so excited and told Davey in disbelief. It was 11:05 pm on August 5th. We started calling family members just to let them know to try to sleep but they could get a call later in the night depending on how things picked up. I could tell this made a few people nervous, but there was no way I was rushing to the hospital until I was in good, active labor. While making these phone calls, I was so excited I just stood there in the kitchen, slowly leaking fluid on the floor and my Chaco sandals, and eating toast. I called my midwife, Anjli, and she said to get some rest and call her by early afternoon on Saturday. I finally changed clothes and yes, mopped the kitchen floor.
Not knowing how the rest of the night would go, we decided to take Lailey over to Uncle Nick and Aunt Julie’s house to sleep so we wouldn’t have to do it while in the middle of active labor. It was bittersweet tucking her in one more time and giving her butterfly kisses and “a big hug” as she always reminds me. I couldn’t believe she would be a big sister soon.
We finished packing some last minute items and Davey loaded them in the car. I was having ctx that were not painful just more pressure. I didn’t time them yet since they didn’t seem too regular. We finally laid down at 2:20 am hoping to get some sleep, but I couldn’t. My mind was too busy. Gradually the ctx got stronger. I began to feel them in my back. Still unable to sleep, I got up at 4:00 am to go to the bathroom, and Davey got up too. We decided to let Lindsey (doula) know to come because she was two hours away. I guessed that the way things were going I might start to need her then. Davey went back to sleep, but I stayed up and walked around the house. The ctx were slowly picking up, but I felt really happy about this. It was so surreal that I was finally in labor. I liked moving with each wave and breathing through it. It was really amazing to feel my body do the work while I relaxed through it. Since I was feeling back labor, I would occasionally breathe through a ctx on my hands and knees. I didn’t know if the baby was posterior, but if he was, I hoped this would help him get in the right position. I also labored standing up and leaning on the counter or the back of the couch. In between, I was writing down all the details leading up to this point, but when a ctx would come I would instinctively jump up to lean on something or get on my hands and knees. I could not imagine sitting down during ctx, and I actually mentioned this many times during the whole labor. I just followed my instincts and what my body was telling me to do, and I’m sure this is what helped me progress.
At 6:30 am, August 6th, 2011, Lindsey arrived. I was excited to have her there, despite how tired I was from being up all night. We chatted and she observed me laboring. Around 7:30 we both agreed I should probably try to lie down again. She rested on the couch and I climbed back in bed for an hour. I tried staying there, but the back labor was becoming too much. I woke Davey up and asked him to apply counter pressure to my lower back, but I just couldn’t take the ctx lying down.
9:30 am – Davey went on a breakfast run and got a fruit and veggie tray to take to the hospital, and I remembered to bake some chocolate chip cookies to take for the nurses. Soon I decided to try the shower for back labor relief, and it worked beautifully. I got the bathroom completely fogged up and steamy from the hot water, but the heat helped me so much.
10:20 am – I knew I needed to eat for energy, so I made myself eat a chicken biscuit. At this point, I was starting to get more cranky and wanted things quiet with each ctx so I could concentrate on relaxing. Lindsey or Davey would apply pressure to my lower back with each one, which helped a lot. Having them both there was so encouraging, and they both sensed in their own way how to assist me. In between, I was still chatty and joking around, which made me think that despite the strength of the ctx that maybe I wasn’t as far along as I thought. I figured I’d be too serious during active labor to talk. Guess not!
12:30 pm – Lindsey suggested a couple options. We could either walk around the house to encourage things along (apparently she thought I was still too talkative at this point), or we could head to the hospital and work on getting labor cranking there. I instantly knew what we should do. Despite my fear of arriving too soon, I knew that my mind would probably release once at the hospital since I knew the hardest part would be enduring the hour drive and that might be slowing me down. So, we headed out.
1:00 – 2:00 pm – The car ride was no fun, since I hated sitting down. I kept breathing through the ctx which were very uncomfortable at this point, and reminding myself that I only had a “few more” before I could be out of the car and standing again. Each one felt like a really strong menstrual cramp that would slowly spread to my lower back and then radiate down my thighs. Trust me, if I could have stood in that car I would have. Davey was really encouraging at this point, helping me by gently touching my leg or just telling me what a great job I was doing. He would tell me after a ctx that that was “one less” that I had to do. I really could not have done it without him. Sometimes I would moan (“vocalize” in childbirth terms) as I took deep breaths. It seemed to help a little, but relaxing was next to impossible in the car.
2:00 pm – After driving around the parking deck at Atlanta Medical Center for what seemed like forever, I was so happy to get out of the car! I had to use the restroom really badly at this point, and all the pressure from my bladder made the pain so much worse. We finally figured out where we were going in the confusing parking deck and made it to L & D with me begging for a potty! I just about yelled when the nurse told me to sign in (really!?!), but held it together knowing it wouldn’t help much. We were taken to LDR #12 and thank the Lord I got to go pee. Soon the nurse came in and requested I get in the bed so she could hook me up to the monitors. I asked her if I could please stand by the bed while she did this, to which she replied “No, I need you in the bed. I’m not really good at monitoring out of bed.” Why as a nurse she would admit this is beyond me. I complied, inwardly rolling my eyes.
3:10 pm - Anjli, my midwife, came in to check my dilation. I told her I didn’t want to know a number; just tell me if I am far enough along to get in the tub (have to be at least 6 cm). For some reason I just had to prepare myself to be at 2 cm so I wouldn’t be as disappointed, but the look on her face said it all. She said “Wow, you’re doing great. Are you sure you don’t want to know?” I couldn’t believe it! I was at 6 cm, 90% effaced, and –1 station! Davey, Lindsey, and I gave each other high fives and I think I cried out of happiness. We had left the house at just the right time. I felt a renewed sense of energy knowing that all the work I had done since the night before had gotten me this far.
Soon afterwards, I got out of bed and began leaning on the high counter by the window during each contraction. It was really pretty outside, and being at the hospital knowing I didn’t have to go anywhere else was a relief. My sister, Amy, came in the room at this point. I had gone back and forth about having her in the room, mostly because I didn’t want to scare her if things got intense during labor! But we talked about it the day before and decided we’d try it. Lindsey, Davey, and Amy were joking around and chatting, which was a nice distraction and kept me entertained. We were pretty much just hanging out while I labored and somebody would either rub my back, apply counter pressure, or I would hug Davey and sway with the ctx, which were definitely beginning to pick back up after they had slowed a bit between the house and the hospital.
4:00 pm – We met our awesome nurse, Courtney, and she started setting up the birthing tub. Davey and I had taken a class a few months before to do a water birth, so it was neat after all the preparation to be there in that moment, knowing we were working to bring our child into the world. Around 4:20 I got in the tub, and it felt amazing. The ctx were starting to get harder, so the water was a welcome relief. Somebody poured water over my back while I focused on keeping my jaw and face loose. I tried different positions to open up my pelvis and move the baby down. Lindsey, Amy, and the nurse continued to bail cool water while they added warm using the hose. I don’t know why but this continuous assembly line back and forth from the bathroom was comical to me but it sticks out in my mind. Despite the hard work I was doing it made me feel a little spoiled, but they didn’t seem to mind. In the next couple hours, despite the strength of the ctx, they began to spread apart. Not exactly what I wanted after being up all night. I felt I was handling the pain well, and I wanted to keep things moving. I knew I needed to try something different, so I switched to sitting on the birthing ball in the shower. Davey stayed in there with me and we asked for a few moments by ourselves. We both knew I was getting frustrated. He kissed me and encouraged me a lot. Again, I don’t know what I would have done without him.
7:30 pm – I got out of the shower and Anjli (midwife) came in to check me again. I couldn’t believe it. I was at 9 1/2 cm! She remarked that “one push could bring the baby right down.” I felt a renewed sense of energy and even managed to smile for a picture while on the monitor for the new nurse who insisted she get a 10-minute strip on baby. At least she let me stand up!
8:00 pm – I tried test pushing while sitting on the toilet, so the tub got reheated so I could try pushing in there. I was so frustrated when the ctx slowed down again when I got in the tub. At this point I really started to loose it mentally. I felt like everything that helped make the pain more manageable was slowing me down, which was making everything longer and I didn’t know how much more I could take. Ironically, I don’t remember ever wanting any drugs; I just wanted it to be over at this point. I hit a “wall” which I know is a very universal thing for women who labor unmedicated. I was so tired and not knowing how much longer it was going to take was really tough. I wanted someone to hit the “pause” button on the whole dang thing and let me sleep for a couple hours, then wake up and push the kid out. Davey again reassured me that I could do it and I was doing it. He was the perfect husband, totally in tune with what I needed and encouraging me every step of the way. I could hire him out for a labor coach! For the next 2 1/2 hours I alternated between resting on my side, hands and knees in the bed, walking around the room, and sitting on the toilet. While laying on the bed, I think I dozed off between a couple ctx, but they quickly woke me up since they were getting unbearable. I didn’t feel like I was staying on top of them anymore. Through a lot of the labor I had visualized each one as a wave that I would stay on top of, but these were crashing over my head. I literally could not breath through them. It didn’t matter how much I told myself that tensing up would make things worse – I was tensing! At this point, Anjli very gently gave me the option of using Pitocin to help me get over this hump. She said I was totally capable without it, but if I wanted to try then a small dose would help get things moving and I would deliver very soon. I mentioned that I was really afraid it would make the ctx harder, and they were already too hard. She said just to think about it. I think it was after this that she started to massage the pressure points in my ankles. Forget Pitocin; that totally did the trick. The ctx started picking up in frequency and I had to get out of the bed. Looking back, that was a really awesome thing for her to do and helped me avoid the Pitocin.
10:00 pm – Davey knew I needed some energy and suggested I drink some Coke. I felt so out of it by that point. I was up walking again and staying on my feet, holding onto Davey with each wave. Lindsey suggested vocalizing the word “ooooooooouuuuut” as well. So there we were, standing in the bathroom, all chanting, and the rational part of my brain felt silly, but it totally did the trick.
10:30 pm – I started pushing instinctively at the end of ctx, though I didn’t ever feel that strong “urge to push” like some people say they do. But I guess everyone else observed that I was pushing, so Anjli asked me where I wanted to deliver. I had totally wanted to birth in the water, but I knew I couldn’t get back in there and have things slow down. I felt like I had to try anything to get over that wall, so I decided to stand next to the bed. (Sidenote from Lindsey: I don’t remember this at all, but the nurse kept reminding me I could get in the bed anytime because apparently she was really nervous about me standing!) I asked for my Chaco sandals because my feet hurt from standing on the hard floor so long. I held onto a handle on the bed and pushed down with each ctx. I kept hoping that the pain would be relieved when I pushed, but no, not for me. It hurt like crazy! But I knew I had to push through it. I wanted the baby out so badly. Lindsey alternated between a heat pack on my lower back and then a double hip squeeze while I pushed. Davey was right next to me cheering me on, and Anjli was behind me kneeling and ready to catch. I was totally in the zone; so much so, that I don’t even think I opened my eyes the whole time. I mentally fought through it all and pushed as hard as I could. Around 10:55, Anjli could see the baby’s head. Before long, I felt the baby move down the birth canal, which was a crazy weird feeling and then the awful ring of fire. I thought I was going to rip in half as I felt his head slip out. With one more excruciating push, his shoulders and slippery little body came out and our son, Maddox David, was born at 11:04 pm, almost exactly 24 hours after my water had broken. Anjli immediately handed him to me between my legs. Everyone was so excited and I was so relieved! The pain stopped. Maddox gave a little cry and they lowered me into a chair behind me to sit and hold him. I tried to lift him up but I could feel that his cord was kind of short, so I held him on my stomach. Anjli finally said it was a boy. I was crying and saying “it’s over, it’s over.” That’s all my brain could think in that moment. Finally I calmed down and they moved me to the bed to get cleaned up. I stared at my sweet baby and finally realized what I had just accomplished. He was so beautiful. His head was perfect, his little face so sweet, and I just fell in love. We let the cord pulse for awhile, then Davey cut his cord while he laid in my arms. I delivered the placenta at 11:25 pm, and the nurse took Maddox to weigh him. I thought he looked smaller than Lailey did but I was shocked that he was 8 lbs. 7 oz. and 21 inches long! Amazingly, I didn’t tear one bit. I consented to having a shot of Pitocin in my leg since with my last birth I bled a good bit afterward and I wanted to avoid that. I got cleaned up and was nursing by 11:40 pm. He easily nursed for 45 minutes and I could feel myself relax. I was totally in awe. He was so beautiful. Soon I walked by myself to go to the bathroom and then we moved to a post partum room.
An hour after he was born, Davey went to tell everyone in the waiting room the news. He drew it out a little by telling the baby’s weight; how long the baby was; that we were both doing well; yes, I had delivered naturally, blah blah blah. Then after they couldn’t stand it anymore, finally said it was a BOY. There were cheers all around. Mostly everyone thought he would be a boy and they were right.
For the first day or so after Maddox was born, I think I was in shock about the whole experience. But as each day passes and I have time to reflect, I find myself so grateful and amazed that I was able to birth the way I wanted. Yes, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I did it. I never had an IV, I was free to move around as I needed to, I got to eat and drink during the entire labor, I had the best labor team ever, and I wore my own clothes. As for my Chaco flip flops, between having my water break all over them and then actually giving birth standing up in them, they were pretty crunchy to say the least. They have since been washed, but I’ll probably never get rid of them. They have a story now.
